What’s Peggy been up to?

Well, in July and August during IOP Peggy first got really mad and dug in her heels. But then after I did some really hard exposures and some of the things that she had been telling me not to do for a very long time (this was scary for both me and Peggy), she started to feel threatened because she was losing her job.

In August we went to Camp DCO and she got really pissed off because she knew we were going to do some things at camp that she really really didn’t want to do. So right before camp she threw a fit and started screaming so loud it was difficult to ignore her. It almost made me miss camp. But despite her fit, I knew how important it was for me to be at DCO, so I pushed through and went anyway. She was still pretty angry at camp, but we launched into several physically and mentally demanding activities (climbing on top of telephone poles, solving puzzles, etc. … with some exposure exercises mixed in between) and she soon calmed down. In the end we did the things at camp that Peggy didn’t want us to do, so… victory I guess.

If I don’t sound overly enthusiastic about this relatively huge victory it’s because Peggy still hasn’t shut up. Don’t get me wrong, we have come a long way and Peggy isn’t making my life anywhere near as difficult as she once was, but she still insists on doing things her way, and even though I am now ignoring much of what she says she is consistently trying to change the rules or even reframe old rules or demands in new packages.

Over the last month and a half my life has been restored to normal-ish. Peggy and I reached a point where there wasn’t much more to be accomplished in IOP so we ended about three weeks ago. I have been ramping back up at work and Peggy has followed, though again, she’s not nearly as disruptive as she was before IOP. I go to the gym and Peggy is there. I go to the store and Peggy shows up. I think what she’s doing now when she shows up is trying to fill the voids with new things or old things in new packages. The difference now is that I’m able to push back against Peggy in a way that I wasn’t before IOP. I’m often engaging in active practices to take her power away.


I’m going to OCD Camp!

It’s official, I’ve turned in my check and secured my spot at Camp DCO (so-called to mess with people’s OCD). This is the camp that gave birth to the Extreme OCD Camp BBC special.

Extreme OCD Camp was unique in that it brought people to Seattle all the way from the U.K. for intensive treatment. From what I understand both the therapy team and BBC had a say in who was selected for the camp. The therapy team wanted to bring people who needed the most help. BBC wanted to send people who had the most interesting stories. They also wanted to maximize the time they had and opted for a longer than normal 9-day trip that included a bit of a wilderness adventure.

Camp DCO was started by the two therapists featured in the BBC special about ten years ago. It is typically attended by eight to ten locals from the Seattle area and lasts two and a half days. There is no long trek, though I believe it’s held at the same campground with the ropes course that is featured in the documentary. Every year they alternate between teens and adults. This year happens to be an adult year and it seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity that I can’t pass up.

So, I’m going to camp!