I’ve been reflecting over the past few weeks on how dramatically my life has changed since I started the IOP program. It seems like every day I’m reminded of something that used to be a “problem” that isn’t anymore.
First of all, a summary of treatment…
I first started OCD treatment in January of this year (2018). At that point my life patterns were untenable. The majority of my days were spent in compulsive behavior cycles. OCD had me in a very angry and frustrated place. I started once-a-week therapy sessions, but my OCD continued on a downward trend. Work was out of hand and preventing me from being able to focus on treatment. I eventually decided to take leave from work. This is when I first started to see marked improvements and a reverse in the trend of my OCD. My therapist and I decided I could see much more dramatic benefits if I were able to get into more immersive treatment. After some long debates with insurance, I finally started the Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) in late June.
I spent 12 weeks in the program which consisted of 2 to 4 hours of active therapy sessions every weekday. Most of these sessions were administered in my home. I had a team of six therapists working with me.
The results I experienced were nothing short of miraculous. My primary therapist has commented several times that he thinks we accomplished in 12 weeks what would normally take 1.5 years or more in regular treatment. I personally estimate that I’ve experienced a 70% to 80% reduction in compulsive behaviors.
I finally ended the IOP program in mid September after we decided there wasn’t much more that could be resolved in the program. I’m now back to regular outpatient visits.
Now reflecting on what has changed…
The following are all behaviors that used to be, but are no more.
- Plastic utensils and paper plates. OCD used to prevented me from using my own utensils and plates. OCD also used to prevent me from eating food I touched with my hands.
- $30+ on cleaning supplies a week. OCD used to demand that I spend this much on cleaning supplies every week. This included 12 rolls of paper towels, a couple canisters is Lysol spray cleaner, 100+ Clorox cleaning wipes, etc.
- Cleaning carpet with Lysol spray. OCD used to want me to clean my carpets with Lysol spray… every inch of the carpet. It would demand that the carpet be dry before I could step on it again, so I would get trapped in my bathroom for 30+ minutes waiting.
- Cleaning surfaces with cleaning wipes. OCD used to make me clean surfaces when they got “contaminated.” My my phone got contaminated a lot. OCD demanded that the cleaning wipes be used in a certain way and if the OCD rules of using the wipes were broken, I had to start over with a new wipe. I went through a lot of wipes!
- Closing my eyes and sitting still on the bus. OCD used to make me close my eyes for almost my entire bus ride to and from work. It also demanded that I not bump into or touch anything during the bus ride.
- Limiting my vocabulary. OCD used to omit certain words, many of them totally benign for most people, from my dialogue with others. These words were “contaminated” and off limits. I picked my words carefully to avoid using the off-limits ones.
- Outside shoes not allowed in my apartment. OCD used to be hyper focused on my feet and where I stepped. It didn’t want “contamination” from the outside world brought into my living space.
- Logging out of computer at work precisely. OCD used to require that I very precisely shut down my computer. This meant adjusting the mouse so it was precisely in the middle of the x to close every program that was open. If this wasn’t done correctly (if my hand slipped while clicking, for example, I had to reopen and then attempt to close the program again. Logging out of the computer sometimes took me 15+ minutes.
- Only wearing certain clothes. OCD used to limit my wardrobe to a few select items. I had 3 or 4 shirts and about 2 pairs of pants that it would allow me to wear. Everything else was “contaminated.”
- Not doing basic household chores. OCD used to prevent me from doing basic housekeeping like folding and putting away laundry, opening mail, vacuuming, taking out the trash and recycling, washing my dishes, etc. consequently my apartment was a total mess.
This list is certainly not exhaustive, but it gives a sense of how the IOP program has changed my life for the better.